The Rebexorcist/Transcript
Cast (In order of appearance): Yugi, Grandpa, Joey Wheeler, Téa, Tristan, Bakura, Rebecca, Rebecca's Teddy, Arthur Hawkins Date: June 18, 2007 Running Time: 06:07 Transcript Hospital YUGI: Grandpa! You're okay! An instrumental of "Up Where We Belong" plays GRANDPA: Yugi! Come give your grandpa a big hug! TÉA: (sniff) It's so emotional! YUGI: Gramps, you don't blame me for everything that happened to you, do you? GRANDPA: Yes. Opening title sequence Outside Domino City GRANDPA: I'm so proud of you, Yugi. You rescued my soul, and you became the King of Card Games! By the way, what happened to Bakura? JOEY: Oh, we left him back on the island! (laughs) Duelist Kingdom, overhead shot BAKURA: (echoing) Hello? Anybody? I want to go home! Outside Domino City YUGI: Now that you're out of the hospital, you can go back to running that worthless card game shop that nobody ever visits. The basement just seems so empty without you. UNKNOWN GIRL: Hello! YUGI: Who's that? (A young girl holding a teddy bear appears while music from The Exorcist is played) UNKNOWN GIRL: (giggles) My name's Rebecca. I'm eight years old, and I'm the number one ranked duelist in America! JOEY: That's impossible! Only grown-ups are allowed to play children's card games. REBECCA: I'm looking for Solomon Moto. YUGI: Who the hell is Solomon Moto? TÉA: Yugi, that's your grandpa. YUGI: He has a name?! GRANDPA: Hello, little girl. If you're trying to get into my will, you'd better hurry up. I could drop dead at any second... with any luck. REBECCA: You stole my Blue-Eyes White Dragon! TRISTAN: Aww, she's so cute! TEDDY BEAR: (speaking with a distorted, masculine voice) She wasn't talking to you! JOEY: Nyeh! The bear is possessed! REBECCA: (giggles) Don't be silly. It's just a regular teddy bear. YUGI: Well, okay, but it did seem kind of like-- TEDDY BEAR: You'll be the first to die! (Yugi and others stare at Rebecca and the bear) REBECCA: I want you to return the card you stole from me. GRANDPA: You'll never get it back! It's mine! Mine, I tell you! YUGI: What my grandpa's trying to say is that he would never steal a card from another duelist. You must be mistaken. GRANDPA: It's mine! All mine! REBECCA: I don't believe you. I challenge you to a duel, old man, and if I win, I get back the Blue-Eyes you stole from me! GRANDPA: Bring it on, you little bi-- YUGI: Grandpa, no! You just got out of the hospital! You're in no fit state to play a harmless children's card game! I'll duel her in your place. REBECCA: Fine by me! I'll win either way! Isn't that right, teddy? TEDDY BEAR: Your mother plays card games in Hell! (Yugi and others stare at Rebecca and the bear) YUGI: O...kay... Kaibaland Exterior MALE CHILD: Look, Daddy! It's a Blue-Eyes! A real one! FATHER: It's just a statue, you ignorant child. By the way, the Easter Bunny isn't real, either, and I'm not even your real father. (child starts crying) ANOTHER MALE CHILD: Oh, wow! A theme park based around a children's card game! This is the most absurd concept ever! Kaibaland Lobby YUGI: Hey, Mokuba. Do you mind if we play a card game here? MOKUBA: Sorry, Yugi. We're fully booked. But since you saved my immortal soul from the clutches of an evil mastermind, I suppose I can allow it just this once. YUGI: Wow! You can do that? MOKUBA: My brother is Seto Kaiba. I can decide who lives and who dies. In the dueling arena REBECCA: I summon Witch of the Black Forest! YUGI: I summon Disgruntled Celtic Guardian! GRANDPA: That's strange. This card game seems awfully familiar. Rebecca, what's your last name? REBECCA: If you must know, it's Hawkins. And yes, my grandfather is Professor Arthur Hawkins, the man you betrayed! TRISTAN: Holy bleep on a bleep sandwich with bleep on top! ...and a side helping of bleep. YUGI: My grandpa would never do something like that! REBECCA: It's the truth! The voices in my head told me so! Isn't that right, teddy? TEDDY BEAR: Hail Satan! GRANDPA: Rebecca, please! Your grandfather and I were very close. Flashback GRANDPA: (voiceover) We met in Egypt on an archaeological dig, where we bonded over our mutual hatred of young people. He also shared with me some very controversial theories. ARTHUR: I believe that the ancient Egyptians used to play Yu-Gi-Oh! in their spare time. YOUNGER SOLOMON: Pull the other one! ARTHUR: No, really. I mean it. YOUNGER SOLOMON: Next you'll be telling me that the Romans played Pokémon! ARTHUR: Look at this card, Solomon. (shows him the Giant Soldier of Stone card) See how it barely resembles these ancient heiroglyphs. YOUNGER SOLOMON: My God, you're right! This could revolutionize the field of Egyptology... somehow. SOLOMON: (voiceover) Just then, the tomb collapsed around us. We had been trapped inside a cold and desolate place far from human contact, but since we were both very old, we were used to that sort of thing. ARTHUR: I say, Solomon, let's have a card game to decide which one of us gets to live. YOUNGER SOLOMON: That's the sickest thing I've ever heard. Let's do it! End Flashback REBECCA: I am so sick of your lying lies, you big fat liar! TÉA: Shut up, you hussy! Yugi's grandpa would never lie! He's the wisest man I've ever met! GRANDPA: Where am I? What day is it? I like pudding. REBECCA: I sacrifice all of my monsters in order to power up my Shadow Ghoul! GRANDPA: Hmm. Flashback YOUNGER SOLOMON: I surrender, Arthur. End Flashback YUGI: You win, Rebecca. I surrender. JOEY: Nyeh! others yell, shocked REBECCA: I won. Now hand over my card! GRANDPA: If you insist. (shows the Blue-Eyes White Dragon card taped together) REBECCA: You tore it! You ruined the collector's value! How am I going to sell it on eBay now? Satan will be very angry! ARTHUR: Rebecca, behave yourself! REBECCA: Grandpa! GRANDPA: Arthur, is that really you? ARTHUR: Yes. I've decided to show up at the last minute in order to tie up all the loose ends. Rebecca, did you know that Yugi actually won the duel? REBECCA: Grandpa, I won! ARTHUR: Take a look at this card. It's called Soul Release. If Yugi had played this, you would have lost. REBECCA: But he didn't play it! He surrendered! ARTHUR: Yes, but he could have won. Therefore, he was the winner. REBECCA: But Yugi lost! ARTHUR: And that is why he won. REBECCA: What?! ARTHUR: Allow me to make things even more confusing for you. You see, when Solomon lost the duel, he did so in order to save my life! Flashback YOUNGER ARTHUR: Solomon, you shouldn't have surrendered. YOUNGER SOLOMON: I wish I knew how to quit you! End Flashback ARTHUR: Even though I sacrificed monsters during my duel with Solomon, I never failed to honor their sacrifice. You see, Rebecca, with great cards comes great responsibility. REBECCA: I'm sorry, Yugi. YUGI: That's okay. Here, take this card that I won. (The Ties of Friendship is shown) I didn't even want it anyway. REBECCA: Does this make me the King of Card Games? YUGI: Hell no! TRISTAN: Isn't anybody else worried about the evil teddy bear? ARTHUR: What evil teddy bear? (Music from ''Psycho'' plays as the screen focuses on Rebecca's teddy bear) Ending CAPTION: episode guest starred safty as rebecca Stinger: ROBOT MONKEY TRISTAN: Put down your weapons! You have twenty seconds to comply! Post-Ending: Duelist Kingdom, overhead shot BAKURA: (off-screen, echoing) Hello? Is there anybody out there? I'm still stuck on this bloody island! Why doesn't anybody answer? (roaring noise) Oh, look! A kitty cat. Hello there, kitty! (roar) Oh, no! Don't do that! Bugger off, kitty! (sniff) 1x20